She Speaks

OK, so an opportunity has come my way.  Well, maybe.  

Ever since my cancer diagnosis, I have put fingertip to keyboard.  And I am loving it.  I love sharing my journey with you and my heart melts each and every time I receive an encouraging email to “keep ‘em coming!” (Thanks, Dad!) 

Many of you have kindly told me I should be a writer.  And after speaking at my bible study a few months back, many of you have kindly told me I should speak.  Well, if I enter Proverbs 31 Ministries contest, I could win a scholarship to the She Speaks women’s conference in North Carolina this summer.  As a writer, I could refine my skills and meet with publishers (when would that ever happen?).  And as a speaker, I could learn about finding my voice in a ministry.  The bottom line -- I would be spending three days in a hotel filled with women who share the same passion as me -- using their words to share Jesus with others. 

But when I first read about this conference, my thoughts were flooded with so many reasons to not apply such as:

It’s too far, I hate to fly, it’s too humid, none of my friends would want to go with me, I hate to fly, I would get lost by myself in North Carolina, we shouldn’t spend the money and I hate to fly.   And did I mention I hate to fly?  Hate it.

And then I prayed, “Lord, you have given me this passion for sharing my story with others.  And you have given me the ability to write and to speak.  Please help me rise above my fears and step out a little more than I ever have before.  I really don’t have peace with this decision, but I do have peace putting it in Your beautiful hands.  In Jesus' name, Amen.”

So with that prayer, I am going to enter the contest.  It may just turn out that I won’t win.  And I’m good with that.  And it may just turn out that I will win.  Could you imagine?  I think I would have a silly grin on my face the whole time I was there.  A grin that said, “Lord, who knew I would be at a conference in North Carolina one year after having cancer and learning how to write a better blog?!”  And my favorite answer: He knew.  

So after clearing the trip with me and with God, I had to clear it with my family too.  Summers are pretty important to them.  

While driving to church last Sunday, I asked my kids if they would want to go to North Carolina this summer.  To my shock, they both said yes.  OK, my two kids can’t even agree on what to eat for dinner!  Jake tells me he would love to go because he loves the Tarheels and, unbeknownst to me, has been wearing their baseball hat for the last month (see it in the photo above?).  And Rachel is excited to go because “North Carolina is close to Virginia.” (Must have something to do with the Native American Indian report she’s working on).   And thankfully, my husband Ed is always supportive of my creative dreams and is generally up for anything.

So with all that said, I am going to enter the contest.  Given such deliberation, you would think I’m considering going back to school to become a neurosurgeon!  But just entering the contest is a big deal for me (what if I win and actually have to go?!).  But this is the beauty of it -- the old me would have labored over this decision and then passed it up.   The new me has decided to take the labor and guess work out of it and give it directly to God. 

Do you remember a few posts back I shared an excerpt from the book Jesus Calling? (One of my faves).  

Do you think today’s message touched my heart?

“...When you are determined to get your own way, you blot Me out of your consciousness.  Instead of single-mindedly pursuing some goal, talk with me about it.  Let the light of My presence shine on this pursuit, so that you can see it from My perspective.  If the goal fits into My plans for you, I will help you reach it.  If it is contrary to My will for you, I will gradually change the desire of your heart.  Seek Me first and foremost; then the rest of your life will fall into place, piece by piece.”

Who doesn't want a life that falls into place, piece by piece?  

So wish me luck, and if anyone else out there would love to spend three days in North Carolina in July learning about blending their passion for writing and speaking and God, then click on the She Speaks button on the left.  The contest is open to everyone and closes on March 11th.  Two winners will be notified on Monday, March 14th.  

So now I ask you.  Is there anything you’ve been wanting to try (maybe this summer) but haven’t?  Are you a little scared of something, but know you would love to conquer it?  Why don’t you take the guess work out of it, and give it to God.  As the book above reminds us, “If the goal fits into My plans for you, I will help you reach it.”  

All you can do is ask.  And then obey.  


http://lysaterkeurst.com/
http://shespeaksconference.com/

Walk By Faith...

Do you ever walk by something and see it with fresh eyes?

I did this morning.

As I was watering the flowers on our front porch, I noticed a rock I painted with the word “faith” sitting on top of an old pair of shoes I fill with flowers.  

“Walk by faith” came to my mind as I saw that little vignette.  I think that rock has been sitting there for almost a year.  

Pretty hard to walk by faith, huh?  To believe in something you don’t see.  To believe the problem can be solved without seeing how.  To put our trust in God rather than ourselves.  

Just last week, I had to do just that.  

Certain things got to me, made me mad and made me sad.  I sound like Dr. Seuss (by the way, today is his birthday -- a little trivia for you).  I was in such a bad mood that I drove to a parking lot late one night and stayed in my car for hours.  Crying.  But all the while knowing that this little episode would make it into one of my blogs.  Probably under the heading of “faith.”  

I received some bad news (nothing to do with cancer) and I got mad.  Then I heard some heart-breaking news, and I became very sad.  And every time I seemed to turn around, bad news stood before me.  I couldn’t shake it.  It lasted for more than a week.

I kept praying and asking God to remove this cloud from over me.  How could I weather cancer so well, and then allow life’s smaller storms to torment me?  Why was I struggling so much?

And then one day, He took it away.  Upon hearing more bad news, I said, “Lord, you were with me through cancer, and I know you’ll be with me through this.  Thank you that I don’t have to do this alone.”    

And, I’m telling you, it was as if God grabbed the cloud over my head and threw it in a trash can.  I immediately felt His peace again.  And joy.

I wish I had experienced this feeling a week earlier.   I’m teaching my kids that God is not a genie in a bottle.  We don’t pray and, bam, our prayer comes true.  Oh, how I wish that were true.  
We need to wait on Him.  For His perfect timing.  

But what I am trying to teach my kids is that God promises us many things.  Promises we need to hold on to -- no matter what. 

Here’s a good one.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to Him,

and He will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-7

My path is straight.  For today.  
And I know I need to lean on Him every day 
for it to remain straight. 


Good thing that rock and those old shoes sit by my front door.  
A daily reminder to walk by faith.

I Heart You...

To my family, my friends and dear readers of this blog,

Happy Valentine's Day!

xoxo,

Ruthie

A Special Delivery...

OK, two posts in two days.  I’m sorry.  But such a beautiful thing just occurred that I wanted to share.  It’s about love, and given that it’s February, I think rather fitting.

My doorbell rang about 10 minutes ago.  There, standing at my door, was my neighbor.  This particular neighbor has never rang my doorbell.  Several years ago, we stopped speaking to one another for reasons I won’t share.  

As I looked out my window, my heart skipped a beat.  As I said hello, I noticed he was holding a card in his hands.  It had my name on it.

In a voice slightly difficult to understand, he explained to me that he had recently suffered a stroke and is a cancer survivor.  With tears streaming down his face, and mine, we hugged.  Two neighbors, who have had their differences in the past, forgiving each other for hurtful words said to one another.  Hmm, maybe I do see a connection to yesterday’s blog.

As I opened the card, I read his words, “You will be in my daily prayers.  My friends and I will pray for your speedy recovery.”   Apparently he doesn’t know that my cancer is gone too.  Now it’s my turn to knock on his door and share the good news.

Before he left, we hugged again.  He and I both unable to talk.  Tears were silencing our words.  

As I closed my door, I thanked God.  For it is He who can change hearts.  

After my diagnosis, as I read my Bible more and more, I kept stumbling upon the verse “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  -- Matthew 19:19.  Quite honestly, I pretended not to see it.   But it seemed to be written in bolder type than the rest of the verses I was reading.

How could I?  I’ve said many hurtful words to a few of my neighbors over the years.  Yes, this nice Christian girl has said a few things I’m so very not proud of.  

But after renewing my relationship with God at the onset of my cancer, I felt a need to right all of my wrongs.  Apologizing to my neighbors is where I began.

So I wrote three letters.  One of them was to my neighbor who appeared on my doorstep today.  I apologized for my words and that I was ashamed of myself for the way I handled our differences.  I left it on the windshield of his car probably six months ago.  Too timid to actually deliver it to his doorstep.  Or into his hands.  

But obeying God’s Word is healing.  He can erase the pain that we often think can never go away.  

So on this day that I expected to be quite uneventful, proved to be quite an event in this not-so perfect Christian girl’s life.

So the question of the day is this.  

Is there a windshield of a neighbor or a friend that you can leave a letter on?  
Remember, nothing is too big for God.  

Sweet Home Alabama

Happy February!  Happy Valentine’s Day!

Valentine’s Day has never been my favorite holiday.  Still isn’t.  Just doesn’t rank up there with Christmas, does it?  Though I do love roses and chocolate.  And I don’t mean the red, long-stemmed version that cost more than a bush.  I love garden roses.  You know the kind you pick from your backyard (or in my case, front yard), cut real short and place in a jar with a sprig of ivy.   I can put roses like that in every room of my house.   And now that I’m “clean” and view chocolate as evil, the last thing I want my husband to do is hand me a heart-shaped box filled with the stuff.   Although if it were a heart-shaped box of Nuts and Chews from See’s Candy....  

No, it’s evil!

But speaking of hearts.  I was wondering -- just how much do we cherish the hearts of those around us.  The hearts of our husbands, our children, our friends?

I’m learning that from the heart, speaks the tongue.  
Just one wrong word can hurt so much.

I know this because I’m human.  And I’ve said my share of things that fall into the, “I wish I could take that back category.”  

Just this week, my son and I have been working on his fifth grade state report.  Thank goodness I have only one child who will embark upon this project.  It’s not that I don’t love learning about Alabama every day of every week since December fifteenth, but I can think of other things I’d rather be doing.  Laundry?  Root canal?  Pap smear?  

But believe it or not, in my haste to finish up late one night, I caught myself saying things that were anything but encouraging and supportive to my son.  Somewhere between “Montgomery” (the state capital, if you were unaware) and “pecans” (the state nut, if you were wondering), I lost it.  We ended that night on a low, and I felt even lower as I got into bed that night replaying a word in my mind that I wish I hadn’t said.  It wasn’t “stupid” in case you were going there, but it wasn’t much better.  And just for the record, I said it with sarcasm, but I’m trying not to do that either.

So the next day, as we embarked upon this wonderful project again, I apologized to my son for my words from the night before.  In fact, I’m telling him tomorrow morning as he finishes up “nuts” (Alabama is the third largest producer of peanuts and peanut products in the United States, by the way) and “Gulf of Mexico” (it has a subtropical climate and has more thunderstorms than any other state) that I would rather learn about Alabama with  him than do anything else.  As a result of this project, I am able to spend time with him and enjoy the qualities he has that make me proud.  Have I mentioned that the guy has set his alarm for six a.m. most every morning to do one more page before school?  Gotta love that.  

And as I was driving home today, I had a thought.  What if when we spoke, our voice was recorded for all to hear?   Would we be fearful of what we said?  Of who would hear?  Or would we know that our words were healing and encouraging to all who heard?   
Whether we say them in front of someone or behind them, words can always hurt.

“Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”

--Proverbs 15:4

So as my son and I embark on our next project together, creating the state flag, I hope my words are kind and encouraging -- just like "Mae Jemison," (Alabama's famous female astronaut). 

Happy Belated New Year!

Happy belated New Year!   Hope you had a safe and memorable start of the year.

We celebrated New Years up in Lake Arrowhead with our friends.  A first for our family.  We’ve never been able to make it to midnight, much less ring in the new year in another city.  When our friends invited us up to their cabin, I immediately said “yes.”  So unlike me.  On big holiday weekends, Ed and I love to avoid the traffic and stay home.  But I am a new Mom.  Ready to embark on a new year.  


So despite my fear of icy roads and injury, I thought it was time for our kids to see snow.  Sad, isn’t it?  Our kids have never touched the stuff, much less stepped foot in it.  And last weekend they did just that.  With snowboards -- and they loved it.  I wish I could tell you that I joined them, but I didn’t.  Bad back and a case of chicken-itis.  But I did make it to the mountain two days in a row to watch them and take pictures.  The old me would have stayed in the cabin beside a cozy fire with a magazine.  But I couldn’t miss out on the opportunity of watching them embark on something new.  And it was great.

So is this week just another week for you?  Or do you really take it to heart that a new year is enfolding right before you?  Was last year so great that you hope to repeat it?  Or is there room for improvement?  Do you want to stretch a little, grow a little, crawl out of your comfort zone a little?

I do.

All I know is that this year, I don’t want to resemble a silk plant.  You know the kind --  collects dust and just sits there.  It never grows, it never looks any different.  It just is.  

I hate that.  I was that.  I was a gloriously huge silk plant.

I think I have my sights set on becoming a paper white.  You know those beautiful, tall white flowers.  You see them a lot this time of year. 

Paper whites (also known as narcissus) are these ugly looking bulbs with white roots dangling beneath them.  They’re not much to look at.   But given a little water and a little sunshine, these ugly bulbs slowly turn into these little bursts of sweet white flowers.  

I planted a few this year and placed them on our kitchen table.  Each day, we’d watch to see if a new shoot would grow.  The morning we returned home from Lake Arrowhead, we were greeted by a paper white in full bloom.   It had finally come into it’s own.

  

That’s what I hope to do with this second chapter of my life.  Come into my own more and more.   Grow into the person that God wants me to be.  Not continue to be the person that I was.  Yuck.  God has better plans than that.  For me.  And for you.

Chelsea Cameron, who teaches my 24/7 Family class, shared this with us one day.

“I’m not what I should be.  I’m not what I could be.  But I’m not where I was.”  

Brilliant, isn’t it?  


Not a ton of pressure to get it right the first time.  Just baby steps taken in the right direction.

The days of being a silk plant are in my past.   I look forward to God planting His bulbs (you and me!) where He knows we’ll bloom.   If it were up to me, I’d plant myself in the shade during a drought.  But God knows right where to place us.  If we only listen and obey.

And if we do, what a new year we’ll have.

Here's to blooming where you're planted!